File Size: 1009 KB
Print Length: 276 pages
Publisher: William Morrow (August 19, 2014)
Publication Date: August 19, 2014
Sold by: Digital Services LLC
X-Ray: Not Enabled
Word Wise: Enabled
Lending: Not Enabled
Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Best Sellers Rank: #45,152 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store) #3 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > Weddings #30 in Books > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > Weddings #43 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Mate Seeking
This book has been the 'magic key' I had been desperately searching for in a pile of self-help books and hours of therapy. For the past 2 years I had been obsessively trying to figure out 'what was wrong with me' (and him) that caused our really wonderful, fulfilling relationship to deteriorate into a devastating mess and failure. Our relationship failure didn't look, sound or feel like any of our friends' relationship failures. Theirs were obvious: cheating, alcoholism and marrying for reasons other than love in the first place were some of the 'normal' and understandable reasons to end a marriage or relationship. Ours was not like that. We had all the right elements: incredible physical chemistry, humor, affection, mental compatibility, emotional compatibility, similar values spiritually and socially, you name it, we had it. We enjoyed doing many of the same things, we enjoyed one another's company and there was no cheating of any sort. So what on earth happened to us? Losing that relationship when it had so many wonderful elements was absolutely the worst pain I have ever experienced, and I knew I had to dig deep and figure out how it happened because if I didn't, I wouldn't survive the pain again. Since I am not the type to turn bitter and just buy a cat, I delved into the bottomless pit of the 'why's...until I finally found the answer in this book.The basic premise is really simple: There MUST be a 'masculine energy' person (who gives, protects, and is RESPECTED) and a 'feminine energy person' (who 'gives back', receives joyously and is CHERISHED) in order for the relationship to work. If you both want to be in charge, you will fight for the masculine position.
I'm what you call a serial monogamist. I have always had boyfriends. Some for a year, two years, etc. I have a great social life, I am successful and very attractive. I have never had a problem meeting, dating or having long and honest relationships with men. But, something happened in my late 20's. There I was, 27, single (for a minute), living in New York, working in the fashion industry and my clock went off-I wanted to find a partner for life, I wanted to find my husband. Now, this was very different than having a boyfriend, this was the big leagues. I didn't have any clue how I needed to go about this."Getting to I Do" catalogued various relationship scenarios, where the authors pointed out what worked and what didn't. I have to be honest, being a self-supportive "modern woman", I at first thought that the simplistic illustrations of male/female dynamics were really old-fashioned and that I might as well just talk it out with my grandmother. But, the book went way beyond just designating roles. For me it helped me to embrace the woman I was and to understand the relationship dynamic I wanted to have.The book is terrific. I read it and applied it to my next relationship-someone I fell in love with and wanted to marry. I went through the "phases" as stated in the book and when it got down to the "negotiation" phase, my boyfriend wanted to move to France, with me. Great! But, not without an engagement. Turns out he was not ready to be married. It was a very painful to think about being without him. To have my dreams of being married to him dissolve. Fortunaltely, I had learned that I would be putting myself through so much more pain and anguish if I had up-rooted my life without any commitment other than being a great boyfriend. So, I let him go.
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